#2. Self Confidence

Confidence is very important part of being happy. To develop your confidence you should understand that there are 2 types of confidence. First, it is your inner or personal confidence. It is a belief that you are a worthy person. It is developed through our self esteem and self love. Second, is the outer confidence. It is the confidence you show in dealing with situations. To make it clear I will example myself. I had very high inner confidence, which means I believed that I can do anything as long as i tried hard enough. However, i had very low outer confidence. I was a very shy person, and I always had difficult time talking with others. These 2 confidence are related, and they affect each other. What happened to me was that I was starting to lose inner confidence because of the lack of my outer confidence. I started to think I am not good enough for not being able to talk to people and react correctly to situations. So you should have both high inner confidence and outer confidence.

Well confidence doesn't just happen. You have to act in order to get one. Next time you face the situation that you find uncomfortable, don't opt out but go for it. If you are afraid of meeting new people, try meeting new people. Best way to conquer fear is to face with it. Face it more often, and you are not afraid of it anymore.

Have the right attitude. Instead of saying I am not good enough to do it, ask yourself why am I not good enough?  How do I know that. Assure yourself I can do it, and you will see. If you succeed it will increase your self esteem and confidence, but if you fail - feel good that you tried, you will succeed next time.

Exercise 1:  Always tell yourself you can do it. Every time you think you are not good enough, ask yourself why do you think so. Mostly there are no solid reason, you just feel that way. Every time you think that, counter it with positive. Say why can't i do it, of course i can. Don't just say it, also feel it(working on your inner confidence).

Exercise 2: Choose one situation that you find uncomfortable. For example, it could be meeting new people, or asking someone a favor, or even offering one. Once you choose it, depending on how big it is, do it every 2-3 days or every week.  If you don't are uncomfortable to stay with group of strangers and socialize, go to some club every week. Please, do it for the sake of yourself. You don't just learn to swim by looking at swimming people, you have got to get into the water and start practicing. Good luck.

#1.2 Improve your self esteem!!! (self-love cont.)

Self esteem is basically what you think about yourself. Do you think you are a good person? Do you think you are a talented person? How you think about yourself has a big effect on how you act, and perform. Self esteem is certainly one of the most important factors for being happy

Once you start loving yourself and accepting yourself as you are you will have a better self-esteem. Be aware of your strengths and appreciate them, and don't compare yourself with others. They have their strengths and weaknesses and you have your own. What happens when we compare ourselves with others is that we will see their good points that we lack in, but we rarely look at the our good points that they lack. As many have said and said and said, every one is unique which is why you should not change.

It is very important to have self respect in order to have high self esteem. Respect your belief, respect your values, respect your personality and respect yourself. You should never do things that is against your belief and values. For example, if you think lying is a bad thing to do and your friend is asking you to lie for him. DON'T do it. Since you did what you think is not moral, it will damage your self respect ans self esteem without you knowing it. Thinking that it is a small thing, and doing it just once is ok - is a mistake. If you like to be free but your friend told you that you should plan your day. DON'T do it. You will most likely fail to follow the plan since it is not your personality. As it continues you will start feeling bad about yourself for not doing what is planned. I am not just bluffing about things i am not sure of. I have read about it so many times from so many books, and this things actually happened to me and I assure you these are the truth from my own experience. As a conclusion for our 2 article concerning Self love and Self esteem answer the following questions, you better not delay it. Do it now.

1. Do you love yourself? Not sure?
2. Do you accept yourself? Totally? Usually? Sometimes? or Not at all?
3. Do you build yourself up with your thoughts(ex. always think "I am a smart person I can do it)? or Put yourself down? (ex. I am such a stupid person, oh a person like me can't do something like this)
4. When you talk about yourself to others, what do you usually say?
5. What do you think other people read about how you feel about yourself?

#1. Truly love yourself!!!

Have you heard of the importance of loving yourself? Everything about being happy and confident is talking about it. Now you eat, sleep, and have fun because you love yourself, you want yourself to live and enjoy. You are reading this page because you love yourself and want yourself to be happier. That is the very basics and every one loves themselves, but it is not enough. You have to truly love yourself, and accept yourself as you are before starting anything else. Without this you don't even stand a chance of being happy or confident. You have to love your looks, your personality, everything about you. Realize that you are lovable person - be happy to be you.  Remember, we should be strict with ourselves only when trying to accomplish goals, but not when we are evaluating ourselves. Here are some exercises you can do to help yourself realize how good you are. You can start one by one, don't try to do everything at once - that is the reason why people give up easily. 

Exercise 1: Right now, write down 10 good things about your looks, and 10 good things about your personality, and 10 good things about the things you can do (more the better). It doesn't have to be big. Be kind with yourself. And read it out loud as many times as possible. Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or every week etc.

If you can't find, you are not thinking hard enough. Ask from the people who loves what good qualities you have. And again, don't be harsh on yourself. Good points don't have to be perfect. If you can play basketball, say it. (Do NOT think that I am not that good, so it is not really my good point) Every time you read it again, try to add something. You will find the list get longer as you continue it for a long time.

Exercise 2: Every morning when you wake up and every evening before you sleep, look at yourself in the mirror for 1 minute and feel how pretty you are, and send love to yourself and hug yourself. I know it sounds embarrassing, but you will get used to it. When you say that kind of thing to yourself, you send those good messages to your subconscious mind, and eventually you will truly believe it. That is what loving yourself is. And don't ever say bad things about yourself even as a joke. NEVER. Jokes like "oh, i am so stupid", "oh, i am such an idiot" affect slowly without you realizing it. 


Keep doing it, and never stop. Make it your habit. The key here is to always believe that you are a lovable person, and feel it all the time. Every time when you look at mirror, every time you talk to others - always feel it. You are a lovable person. Once you start loving yourself, you will feel others are loving you too. However, others are not who you want to be loved by, it is you who want to be loved by. Love yourself, and never be affected by people who don't like you because there are always those people no matter how good you are.